Requiem

Requiem
(2012)

I stand outside
In the cold, lonely field
And by the sun I abide
To feel its rays on my skin
One last time.

I have a spade in my left hand
And a tear on my right
And I wait for it to dry
So I can dig up the hole
The one I wanted to dig in your soul
To take me closer to you
The one that will now cherish my body
In the heart of the land
In summer’s heat and winter’s cold
The one that will finally embrace
The dying last breath of this man.

Every word you wrote
Was a spear going right through me
Every image I thought
Was a scream in the void
Wanting me to break free
Of everything I felt
And all the words you made me say
Of everything I had concealed
Deep under my skin
And kept at bay.

You knew who I was
And you knew how I thought
You knew exactly how to hurt me
It’s true
You knew exactly how to kill me
I’m just like you
And here I am
A living dead
Dead in the inside
‘Cause over your hands my blood I shed
And nothing can stop me on this landslide.

And I’m at the edge
Digging and digging
And I’m at the edge
The soil in my hands I’m feeling
As they will soon caress me
As your hands never did
And never will.

And every day the cross
Became bigger and bigger
Forcing me to somehow
Want to pull off the trigger
And shoot my private life
The one oh so many took
And played with for their personal joy
The one oh so many took
To use once and destroy
To one oh so many took
To treat me just as a toy.

And every step I take
Takes me closer to the end
And every choice I make
Throws another handful of dirt
Over the tomb of myself
To which I gracefully descend
To burn my wounds
And calm my pain.

And when I lie down
In my eternal bed
My arms I will cross
And for my soul I will beg
For giving up too soon
To this world of dread
For falling into this swoon
Crying for myself.

When I lie down
I will finally rest
And though my flesh may rot
And my bones turn into dust
My memories will forever last
Whether I like it or not
And you will be in them
Smiling in front of me
The very first time we met
And you will be with me
In the dreams I tried to forget.

And from the top I see myself
Waving a last goodbye at me
And I see the peace in my eyes
Sleeping tight
As an innocent child
Leaving every sin behind.

And every step I gave
Took me closer to the end
And every choice I made
Threw another handful of dirt
Over the tomb of myself.

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